Lara Croft and the Temple of Death

“Defiler!”

Ratta-tat-tat!

The pistols of the Tomb Raider Lara Croft cut down the guard before he could take two steps toward her. The bullets impact flung him backwards against the dry wall of the dark temple and crumpled to the floor. Lara pressed on. Further into the corridors of the formerly-lost Temple of Nehista, Dark Goddess of the Desert. The exertions of the quest thus far – the traps, the guards, and the fiendish locks – made Lara pant as she ran. Though deep underground the oppressive heat of the Syrian Desert above made itself felt in the dry air.

“Defiler!”

The guard seemingly appeared out of nowhere. He whipped out his sword and with a look of determination and hatred in his eyes sprung towards the Tomb Raider.

Ratta-tat-tat!

The man’s sword and his frail body were no match for a hail of 9mm bullets.

‘Advantage Croft I’d say!’ thought Lara as she leapt over the corpse.

The guards of the Temple were men from the local villages who had been captured and enslaved by followers of Nehista. Their minds were wholly bound to the Dark Goddess they now served. They were put into Ancient Assyrian outfits and given swords, now existing only to guard her temple. Reasoning with them was pointless. Lara pitied them as she blew them away.

But only a bit.

And not enough to try for a wounding shot.

“Outsider!” screamed the guard at the door that Lara presumed led to the Dark Chamber.

‘Makes a change from ‘Defiler!’ I suppose,’ thought Lara.

“Here’s a change for you!” she yelled producing a shot-gun from her knap-sack and firing.

The blast drove the guard back against the door with a gasp. Somehow he managed to stay standing. A second blast sent him down. Lara stepped over him, heading for the door.

‘Yuck!’ thought Lara catching a whiff of the freshly-killed man.

The body was already starting to decay, doubtless caused by the deathly atmosphere of the place.

“That’s life…,” Lara shrugged, “and death.”

Lara used the key she had retrieved earlier to open the door. She entered the room, gun ready…

It wasn’t the Dark Chamber – that lay beyond the door on the far side of the room. In front of the door were two dogs – large, dark, monsters each with a drooling mouth and eyes of pure evil red. Slowly and with menace the beasts advanced on Lara, carefully getting ready for a pounce…

Budda-Budda-Budda!

Dog plus M-16 equals dead dog.

‘Oh c’mon!’ thought Lara with a hint of irritation, ‘make it a challenge!’

Lara reached for the handle of the final door. Movement off to her left caught her eye.

It was one of the dogs, whining in its death throes.

‘Poor pooch!’ thought Lara idly speculating what breed it was, wolf and Rhodesian Ridgeback crossbreed perhaps?

A bullet ended it’s suffering.

‘Down boy!’

Lara opened the final door and entered. She was in a dingy room. There was no way of telling just how big it was. Stale air filled Lara’s nose. Carefully she lit a flare and held it up to the wall.

“Good Gracious!” Lara gasped as the pictures there assailed her sensibilities.

The walls were decorated with ghastly pictures of death.

People dying in a myriad of color (predominantly red) adorned the entire wall.

“Do you approve of my art, Lara?”

The voice came from a corner of the room. As Lara peered closer candles ignited, filling the room with their flickering flame.

Nehista, Dark Goddess, sat serenely on a throne atop a raised dais twenty feet from where Lara was standing. Between them was a table splattered with dark patches – the blood of sacrificial victims.

Slowly Lara eased her guns out of their holsters and moved closer. She studied the woman smiling in the chair closely. Short black hair topped a face that was paler then the average Arab – the price of necromancy perhaps?

Minimal jewellery and minimal clothing. Assyrian style.

Long slim arms. Nice legs.

‘What the hell made me think that?’ thought Lara.

“Not really my style,” she got round to saying, “I prefer something with more…life.”

“You noticed that most of the figures are naked,” purred Nehista with a smile, “Do you like that? The sight of naked flesh….”

“I didn’t come here for art classes,” said Lara grimly, levelling her guns at Nehista’s head, “your reign of terror is about to end!”

“Reign of terror!” snorted Nehista, “all I did was reunite grandparents with their children.”

“You raised people from the dead and sent their soulless bodies to attack the local villages!”

“Both our interpretations are valid,” smirked Nehista with a glint in her eye.

“Now then,” continued the Dark Goddess in a friendly fashion, “lets talk about you. So far I’m very impressed.”

Part of the wall to Nehista’s right rotated to reveal a mirror. It shimmered to reveal pictures of Lara as she had moved through the Temple.

“Assyrian CCTV!” thought Lara.

“Running, jumping, fighting…you stay fit don’t you?” murmured Nehista gazing at the screen.

A sequence where Lara leapt up, gunned down two giant scorpions, spun in the air and landed on her feet was shown.

“Powerful legs…tight butt… and those fantastic breasts…,” Nehista licked her lips and turned to Lara, “do you ever knock yourself out?”

“Now look here!” shouted an indignant Tomb Raider, “I don’t know what perverse game you’re playing….”

“Yes, yes!” interrupted Nehista waving her hand airily, “enough of the British stiff upper lip…”

She stood up, unclipped he bra and revealed her own ample bosom.

“C’mon Lara,” she smiled, “lets get it on! Don’t you want to know what the pussy of a goddess tastes like?”

Ever since Nehista’s first words Lara had been somewhat phased by the track the conversation had taken. Usually when she confronted her ultimate opponent they spat defiance, transformed into a monster and tried killing her. Never before had one given her the lesbian come-on.

“I don’t know what school you went to…,” she screamed, “…but at Cheltenham Ladies College your kind knew their place!”

Lara cocked her guns.

“Save it for the shower after gym class!”

Ratta-tat-tat! Ratta-tat-tat! Ratta-tat-tat!

The bullets hit Nehista in the chest (biggest target) and spun her round. She fell off her raised dais and slammed into the floor. Spluttering she raised herself on her arms and pushed herself onto her back. Breathing heavily her eyes fixed upon Lara as the Tomb Raider advanced.

“You’re a dull girl Lara,” she wheezed, “I see you need to be shown how to enjoy yourself….”

With that Nehista smiled, died and fell back.

‘Strange woman!’ thought Lara, ‘total lack of social graces!’

She looked at the body of Nehista. A crucifix around her neck arrested Lara’s attention.

“The symbol of Christianity!” said Lara, “on someone who was born thousands of years before Jesus?!”

It was a shame she would be unable to solve that question. Nehista clearly wouldn’t be supplying answers.

Something else caught Lara’s eye. A simple red ring on Nehista’s left fore finger.

Put me on!

The voice was heard by Lara and instantly forgotten. Without a thought in her head Lara bent down, took the ring off Nehista’s finger and put it on her left forefinger….

“Time to get going!” said Lara breezily.

She glanced back at the corpse of Nehista as she left the room.

‘I wonder what she would’ve tasted like?’ was the thought that popped into her head.

“What the hell made me think that?” said Lara shaking her head.

This puzzled Lara so much that as she made her way out she didn’t notice that one of the dogs wasn’t where it had fallen…

As Lara went round a corner path her progress was arrested by the sight of one of the guards shambling towards her

“I admire your determination,” said Lara noticing the bullet wound in his belly, “but you would have been better advised to stay down.”

She whipped out one of her revolvers, took careful aim and fired a bullet into the guard’s chest. Down he went. Lara moved on, but then something made her turn to look back at the

fallen guard…

…who was getting to his feet!

“That doesn’t happen too often!” thought Lara producing both her pistols.

Lara….

The word was softly spoken and seemed to be carried on the air. Lara gave it no thought and concentrated on her shooting.

Ratta-tat-tat!

The hail of lead hit the target and sent him staggering back.

But not down!

With a grin the bullet-ridden guard lurched forward once more.

“Goodness!” gasped Lara, “he’s some sort of animated corpse!”

A knot of fear formed in the pit of the Tomb Raider’s belly.

“She who fights and runs away…” said Lara spinning on her heel and running off.

‘How can I kill something that’s already dead!’ she thought, ‘and who is animating that corpse? Nehista is dead…isn’t she?’

From a corridor to her left she caught sight of movement. Another zombie! Instinctively Lara stuck out her arm and fired. Though the bullet hit him the zombie barely paused in his lurch towards her.

‘At least I can out-run them!’ thought Lara trying to remain upbeat as she jogged along. She could hear the zombies following her, but falling behind.

But you killed dozens…they block your exit…

‘That voice again,’ thought Lara, “who is it? Where is it coming from?’

You’re trapped!

“It seems to be inside my head!”

This unsettling thought worried Lara so much that she lost concentration.

She turned a corner and ran right into a whole gang of zombies!

Lara gasped in shock as the nearest zombie leapt at her. She only had time to half raise her arm and fire into his hip as he shoved her backward. The zombie recoiled from the hit as his zombified mates pushed past. Lara was slammed into the wall behind her, sharp pain streaking up her spine

as air was knocked out of her. Struggling to regain her breath Lara weakly raised her guns and fired.

Ratta-tat-tat!

The nearest zombies danced the danse macabre as Lara’s bullets riddled their bodies. Zombie flesh and blood splattered everywhere as the sound of gunfire filled the room. But still they wouldn’t stay down!

They recoiled and then came on again, each time more mutilated than before!

As she steadied herself on her feet Lara gritted her teeth. Grimly she realized that she was at least holding the zombies back. For every step towards her they took bullet impacts pushed them back. If she could just hold them off with bullets and slowly sneak her way by…

Click-Click-Click!

‘Oh Shit!’

Ha-Ha-Ha!

‘It’s a woman’s voice…’ was the thought that passed through Lara’s mind.

She flung the empty pistols at the on-rushing mob and turned to make a run for it.

But a zombie flung himself forward and grabbed her ankle. Lara tried to stagger forward and shake him off, all the time aware that the other zombies were closing…

“Let me go!” shrieked Lara.

Becoming desperate she turned and booted the zombie full in the face. He let go, but that then caused Lara to lose her balance and fall backwards…

“Noooooo!” screamed Lara as the zombies leapt on her as one.

A swung foot caught one of them, a right hook saw another off but her left arm was seized, her ankle firmly grabbed. Another punch from Lara’s right fist landed a glancing blow on a zombie’s face but then that wrist was also held and pinned to the floor. Though she thrashed about as much

as she could both her wrists and both her ankles were in a vice-like grip and Lara Croft was helpless.

One of the zombies knelt down between Lara’s legs shuffling between her thighs. The duo holding Lara’s ankles pulled them wider apart to give him more room.

“Leave me alone!” gasped Lara in a weak, frightened voice as the zombie reached for her neck.

He grabbed the top of her vest and with a brutal tug ripped it open, exposing Lara’s massive breasts barely contained by her white cotton bra. Gurgling incoherently the zombie bent his head down and took the center of the bra into his mouth. At the touch of the zombies’ cold nose on her

bare skin Lara felt vomit start to rise in her throat. The zombie flung his head back and tore Lara’s bra open with his teeth. As she gasped Lara’s breasts burst free!

With a massive grin on his face the zombie again moved his head towards Lara’s chest…

‘Dear God!’ thought Lara, ‘he’s going to rip my heart out!’

You’re a dull girl Lara. No imagination at all!

Nehista! It was her voice! But how !?!

The zombie nuzzled his nose in Lara’s cleavage and then moved to her left nipple, mouth gaping. Lara closed her eyes tightly and waited for the zombie to rip her open.

Instead she felt dampness on her tit. She opened her eyes. The zombie was sucking on her breast!

“Oh No!” gasped Lara realization dawning, “oh please no!”

In horror Lara tried to worm away from her assailant but to no avail. She thrashed about some more but couldn’t escape, indeed her efforts seemed to increase the zombies’ enjoyment of Tomb Rider titty. As he sucked more vigorously he grabbed her breast and then gnawed her nipple.

“Ahhhhh!” mewled Lara in pain.

Tears started to well up in her eyes. Blinking she looked around for help. All she could see were zombies. All had grins on their putrid gray faces, leering grins of bestial desire.

The zombie enjoying Lara’s tit stopped and reared up. Chuckling he reached for her belt buckle. Swiftly he unclasped it. Shaking with fear Lara was helpless as the zombie grabbed her shorts and ripped them open. He paused to run his black tongue over his dry lips before tearing off Lara’s panties.

“W-What are y-you doing?” stammered Lara now almost paralyzed with terror.

He wants to fuck you!

Nehista’s voice laughed inside Lara’s head.

And guess what! He will! They all will! They are all going to fuck your brains out!

In confirmation of Nehista’s words the zombie pulled off his Assyrian skirt, revealing his cock – a large gray monster with dark veins. Fully erect and throbbing like a living creature. Its owner took it in his hands and slowly positioned it at Lara’s pussy.

“N-no….p-please…no…,” gibbered the wide-eyed Lara.

The zombie rubbed the purple head against the lips of Lara’s cunt before slowly inserting the swollen meat-stick into her dry vagina.

“Uh-huh!” gasped Lara as the zombie slowly drove himself into her pussy, cackling with demonic glee as he did so.

Lara groaned, closing her eyes, feeling the zombie’s cock stab into her belly. She could only moan in despair as the zombie on top of her grabbed her breasts and painfully squeezed them as his stiff cock began humping Lara’s cunt. Lara tried shutting her eyes as tightly as she could but still couldn’t block out his hot, rancid breath panting on her face, his cold, clammy hands on her breasts.

Can you feel it Lara? Can you feel that big dick inside you?

Nehista sounded excited. Lara could sense the other woman was enjoying witnessing her rape.

“Go to hell,” she managed to murmur.

He’s gonna cum, Lara! Right up your slutty cunt!

Lara felt sick as she felt the zombie climax. She moaned as she felt the cum spray into her womb. The zombie gave a couple final thrusts to make sure she got his full load and then withdrew.

Yessss!

The zombie got to his feet. Lara looked up to see another take his place. This one was also erect. He quickly got down to it, inserting his dick into Lara as she let out a sob. When his throbbing shaft filled her vagina he started to pump her violently. Lara moaned with every stab, her body

jerked about as mush as the restraining zombies would allow.

He’s a bit rough isn’t he? Do you like it rough?

The zombie came. His fuck-fluid filling Lara’s womb. As he withdrew Lara could feel some of his discharge dribbling out of her pussy. Another zombie took his place. Lubrication from the first two of Lara’s violators eased his entry. Soon he was thrusting in and out with gusto.

‘Blank it out’, thought Lara dimly, ‘detach myself….’

You can’t ignore it Lara! There’s a big zombie dick fucking your pussy! In and out it goes! Can you feel it? Whoosh! Here it comes!

Lara tried to ignore Nehista’s mocking voice. Instead she tried to work out what had happened. Dully she noticed another zombie prepare to mount her. She had killed Nehista. Yet she still lived. How could she?

The zombie was now fucking her.

Nehista’s power must live on!

Fancy a change Lara? Something different?

Lara felt her head been turned. She opened her eyes. Through her tear-stained vision something gray and bulbous was inches from her face. Lara blinked to focus and then shrank back in horror when she realized what it was. A large, fully erect cock glistening with pre-cum was aimed right at her mouth!

“N-nooo….” she stammered.

C’mon Lara! Be a good girl and suck the nice zombie’s dick!

Lara felt the floor on the back of her head. Nowhere to retreat to!

And still the dick advanced on her mouth!

‘Perhaps it won’t be too bad’ wondered a thought in Lara’s head.

One moment Lara was in shock as to why she had thought that the next she felt her own mouth opening. Smiling through his rotten teeth the zombie pushed his cock into Lara’s mouth. Lara felt the hot rancid dick on her tongue, felt it push against the roof of her mouth and move along towards her throat. She was wide-eyed with horror and disgust. Disgusted not just with the undead cock now pumping back and forth between her lips but with herself.

‘Why didn’t I fight this? Why did I open my mouth and let him put it in?

Because you’re a slut! A slut who likes sucking cock! Now suck this one!

Lara groaned around the cock in her mouth as the zombie took her head in his hands and started fucking her face with frenzy. She wanted to gag. To be sickened by what was happening.

That was what she wanted to do. What she did was start to suck.

Yes you slut! Start to enjoy it!

Lara could feel bits of zombie dick-flesh come away in her mouth as she sucked. Where possible her throat gulped to swallow it down.

‘Why am I doing this?’ she thought desperately, ‘it’s like my body and mind are separate…’

Helpless tears of confusion fell from Lara’s eyes as her tongue rolled over the zombie’s stiff cock.

Finally he came pumping a stream of zombie spunk down Lara’s throat. Some instinct drove her to swallow it as quickly as she could.

‘Doesn’t taste too bad,’ she thought, ‘sweet!’

Lara lay on the ground panting after the zombie pulled out of her mouth. For a moment no one was fucking her, and her brain seemed to be whirling around. She felt her left arm been raised. She looked up to see a zombie put her hand around his cock and start to jerk himself off with it. Turning

away Lara faced another swollen prick pointed at her face.

Yum-Yum! The biggest so far!

‘Biggest so far….’ repeated Lara drowsily.

Her brain felt foggy. Something wrong here….

Lets suck it!

“Yesss…,’ slurred Lara, “suck…”

Clouds in Lara’s brain seemed to vanish.

“Yes!” she said brightly, “C’mon big-boy lets see what that python feels like on my tongue!”

Lara stuck out her tongue and licked the end of the zombie’s cock. At her touch it seemed to throb in greeting.

“Yessss!” she moaned opening her mouth.

To her delight the zombie rammed his fuck-tool in. As she started sucking with vigor Lara was pleased to sense another cock pushing it’s way into her pussy. Lara’s body writhed around in ecstasy as the fucking continued apace.

‘I’m a slutty fucking whore!’ she thought with joy.

Lara! It’s dirty and it’s wrong!

This new voice was that of a small girl, easily ignored.

Lara sensed the zombie on her left come over her hand. When she felt him move away her hand reached out and rapidly found a new cock to masturbate.

If her eyes hadn’t been focused on the owner of the ten inch slong in her mouth she might have noticed the ring on her left forefinger glow when the cum touched it….

Cock followed cock followed cock. When a dick came near her face Lara grabbed it and greedily stuck it in her mouth. When someone started porking her pussy she would wrap her legs around him and buck back in time with his thrusts.

Every once in a whole that irritating little voice would squeak

Lara! Stop it!

But Lara ignored it. She was having too much fun.

After an hour of solid fucking every zombie in the Tomb had emptied his nuts into Lara Croft. Most had done her several times over. Her face and breasts were covered in the spunk she hadn’t managed to swallow. A pool of fuck-slime was between her legs where it had overflowed from her

cunt.

And still she wanted more.

Eventually the zombies hung back, even the undead needed a rest from the Lara Croft sex-drive.

“C’mon boys!” she cajoled, “Give me cock!”

No one moved. Or had the strength to move.

“I command you!” Lara barked to no avail.

She got on all fours and stuck her tight butt in the air.

“I know,” she smiled, ” who wants to be the first to fuck Lara’s shithole?”

She wiggled it about in an attempt to entice a bugger.

Two zombies advanced on her. Lara smiled but was disappointed that they just pulled her to her feet and then led her down the corridor whence she came.

Along the darkened passageways the trio went, towards Nehista’s lair.

“OK,” said Lara in a simple pleasant voice, “we’ll find a quiet corner and you can fuck my shithole there.”

Fight it! Fight to save yourself!

“Fight?” Lara paused on hearing the small voice, “fight what?”

“Never mind,” said a louder voice in her head, “just walk along and we’ll do some more fucking.”

“OK” agreed Lara.

Eventually Lara and her escorts reached the room where she had confronted Nehista. As they entered the torches burst into flame filling the room with light. The throne was still there as was the table. The dark mirror next to the throne reflected the scene.

The two zombies led Lara over to the table. They bade her to jump up on top of it and go down on all fours.

“Right-oh!” laughed Lara, licking her lips at the thought of her impending penetration.

To her surprise the zombies moved round to her front and grabbed her wrists, pinning her to the table.

“Hey!” Lara protested indignantly, “I’m a good girl now!”

But the zombies weren’t listening, instead their attention was fixed on the doorway…

Lara craned her neck to look round and saw there, breathing heavily with drool lining it’s mouth was one of the massive dogs she had shot earlier. Lara gasped as the beast lumbered towards her, bullet wounds clearly visible in it’s side. The monster let out a low grumble of menace.

For the briefest of moments Lara was gripped by fear and wanted to run.

Yes Lara run!

But the zombies tightened their hold and before Lara could struggle further a feeling of calmness washed over her.

“Nice doggy…” she said dazedly.

The beast leapt up onto the table behind Lara. Rising up onto its hind legs the beast put it’s front paws on Lara’s shoulders, lightly scratching them. Lara could feel the hot breath on the back of her neck, could feel the drool dribbling onto her back. Lara let out a breath of wonder as a new sensation registered itself – the feeling of something hot and damp pushing against her asshole.

Her breathing reduced to rapid pants Lara started to sweat as the dog slowly drove his massive prick into her butt.

“Oh yesssss!” Lara moaned, revelling in that magnificent organ pushing into her.

Her tight human shithole wasn’t built to be fucked by a huge hound so even though she relaxed her ass Lara was assailed by waves of pain with each millimeter of penetration the dog achieved.

Not that she was complaining as she turned the pain into the pleasure of sexual ecstasy.

“Ahhhhhhh!”

The zombies released their grip as they realized Lara wasn’t going to resist.

Finally the dog stopped pushing. It had attained full penetration. Tomb Raider and Hellhound momentarily paused as Lara drank in the full orgasmic feeling of been split in two by canine cock. Her eyes rolled back in her head, her mouth seemed dry, nothing mattered but savoring that moment.

Dirty! It’s dirty!

The voice was distant but insistent. Lara thought she could recognize it, but it was like something carried on the wind. One moment it’s here, the next gone.

“Aroooooo!” howled the dog as it started thrusting in and out.

“Uh-uhh!” gasped Lara, trying to keep up with the pneumatic ramming.

The feeling of been skewered, that the next thrust would split her open was driving Lara to the verge of sexual insanity. Her whole world consisted of an enormous cock fucking her brains out.

Lara! Listen to me!

‘Gotta fuck’ Lara thought trying to drown out the shrill voice, ‘gotta fuck my ass, my pussy…want it to fuck my mouth…’

No! Listen! Do you remember last summer at Auntie’s house? Afternoon tea when Auntie went off to complain about the butler?

Lara dimly recalled the hot summer sun, the croquet lawn, her lemonade…but what did all that matter? All she wanted she now had, up her shit-hole.

Do you remember her dog, the bloody corgi? It got all excited and started rubbing up and down your leg. Do you remember what you said to it…?

“Dirty dog…” Lara murmured, “you’re a dirty dog…”

Suddenly Lara was confused. That was her own voice she could hear! What was she doing here?

The last thing she could recall was been violated by those foul zombies.

After that….

…a blank!

What has happening to her? That heavy weight on her back? That feeling of intense pain and fullness in her bottom?

“Nooooo!” Lara shrieked, “Aieeeee!”

An enormous monster was fucking her up the ass!

Frantically Lara tried to break loose but the beast was too big, too powerful and too fully impaling her butt!

Wide-eyed and teetering on the brink of madness Lara desperately looked around. The walls, the torches, the zombies all registered. Something made her concentrate on the dark mirror near the throne.

She could see the dog – it was huge Lara sobbed – thrusting into her ass with frantic energy, its tongue lolling out, clearly loving what it was doing.

“P-please stop!” she whimpered to no avail.

Weeping with pain and shame Lara noticed herself in the mirror. Her naked body shuddering with the ass-pounding, her breasts heaving up and down.

‘Not me!’ she realized, ‘that’s not me!’

There in the mirror it was clearly visible that the face on the figure been anally rogered was not Lara Croft the Tomb Raider but Nehista the Dark Goddess!

The face winked at Lara and smiled.

“Possessed me!” gasped Lara, “how?”

A liquid explosion in her bowels made Lara almost collapse, her face falling to the table. Dog semen was been pumped into her with relish by the beast on her back.

Lara could only whimper as the dog gave her some last thrusts to shoot off all its load.

“You dirty slut, Lara!” laughed the image of Nehista in the mirror, “admit it, you’re loving this!”

Shaking Lara gulped and tried to raise herself. Her eye caught the ring on her finger. It was glowing!

The ring!

Before the zombies could move Lara raised her arm, turned her hand and banged the ring down onto the hard table. In her weakened state Lara was unable to do more than scratch it but that was enough to cause the zombies to groan and collapse back into lifelessness. Behind her the hound gave a low growl, rolled off the table and also expired.

Lara climbed off the table and looked up to the dark mirror. The image of Nehista’s head on top of her body was still there, but Nehista wasn’t smiling now.

“Listen to me, Lara,” said Nehista quickly, “Join with me and I’ll take you to the heights of sexual enjoyment. I can give you riches, power, a dozen men as your slaves – all existing just to fuck you everyday…”

“And all I have to do is surrender my body to you?” asked Lara.

“I’ve done it before,” continued Nehista, “every few years I join with some other female and live on…”

‘That explains the crucifix,’ thought Lara, ‘a previous host.’

“…forget about the afterlife! Live for now!” Nehista was warming to her speech, “imagine fantastic sex all day, every day!”

Lara took a deep breath and held up her hand to shut Nehista up.

“Nehista,” she said throatily, “I’m not bad looking and I have breasts like a pair of melons,” she put her hands on her hips, “if there’s one thing I don’t need its help getting laid!”

With that Lara tore the ring off her finger, dropped it to the floor and raised her boot above it.

“Lara! Please!” begged Nehista.

Savagely Lara slammed her heel on top of the ring smashing it completely.

“Noooooo!” wailed the Dark Goddess.

The image of Nehista faded and, sighing with relief, Lara saw her own reflection in the mirror.

Almost immediately the ground started to rumble and dust was shaken loose from the walls. The mirror cracked and fell to the floor.

‘Guess that means the bitch is really dead,’ thought Lara as part of the wall to her left caved in.

“The old bad-guy-is-dead-so-lair-collapses routine,” Lara said looking to the exit, “hopefully to be followed by my very own last-minute-escape routine!”

Lara ran through the doorway and headed for the exit, moving as fast as a girl with a freshly-buggered asshole could.

Lara Croft burst out into the open air just as the Temple collapsed in a tremendous crash. A wall of dust and noise filled Lara’s senses and then everything was silent. Lara got up dusted herself down and headed back to where she had parked the jeep.

Two Arabs were looking it over. On seeing the approach of the naked Western woman they rubbed their eyes.

“Praise be to Allah, what a woman!” uttered one.

They approached Lara, one producing a knife as they did so. The other was having such an erection he couldn’t think straight.

“Now boys,” said Lara slowly in perfect Arabic, “I’ve been possessed by a witch, gang-banged by zombies and ridden by a hound from Hell. Yet I’m still here,” she paused before continuing, “so do you really think two shepherds and a rusty knife pose much of a threat?”

“Lie down woman!” barked the knifeman.

“Ho-hum,” sighed Lara assuming an unarmed combat stance.

Forty-six seconds later Lara Croft, now dressed in Arab garb, was speeding along the road in her jeep on the way back to her hotel in Damascus.

“The next time Auntie is droning on about her stupid corgi,” she said to herself, “I might just tell her my own little shaggy doggy story.”

She smiled wistfully.

“Shag been the operative word!”

The Tomb Raider laughed as she drove along.

THE END